I am An interesting day...

I am a shamed of myself for writing a blog post on Valentine’s Day. Hopefully this isn't too dramatic, didactic and ambiguous. I am ashamed. :)

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The cotton clouds stretch over the horizon. It’s not gloomy, just gray. In a moment, the sheet of clouds will rip and the perfect blue will show through. Water droplets drip from roof to gutter. Couples walk hand and hand. Dogs run. Squirrels find. The rose is already wilting.

Today I awoke to the muse of Death Cab for Cutie’s "A Marching Band of Manhattan" (listen to it.) I took a quick “French bath” and proceeded to prepare for a meal with my Clowes Court neighbors.

In my sandals and socks I moved next door. Still feeling the lines
of Death Cab:
“Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound.”

The pans are cooling, the food is ready. We all sit for re-nourishment.

Laughter, secrets and questionable jokes fill the room amongst the muffins, eggs, questionably chunky bacon and chocolate cake. After the last drop was licked and the last crumb given to the ducks, we all went our way this interesting Sunday.

I now find myself peering outside at the bedlinen-like sky. Cozed by coffee, peaced by pictures, comforted by chair, compelled by fictions. Besides me lies the collected works of Geoffrey Chaucer and next to Chaucer lies James Joyce’s Ulysses. I have been reading. I have been traveling.

Books are my dearest things, dearest possession. I love purchasing books and I have a dictionary that I refer to as my bible (and I am serious.) but there is more than purchasing that takes place with books. I want to move beyond the purchasing and possessing aspects of book collecting.

Books are given as gifts. Books are spontaneous escapes from conscious reality. Books are wisdom and enlightenment. Books assist you in seeing old things new. Books are fun and complex and magically simple. Books are reality.

Each book is dear to me. I have a few favorites that will always be my favorite. These books are foundational to who I am. They are the pastness of the present. I will never throw a book away.

However, I am learning, reading, and discovering books and fictions each day. I have received books as gifts, for courses, and for my own personal exploration. These books are becoming dear to me.

Still there is always that one book that makes you laugh. Makes you tear. Makes you lost for words. Makes you silly. Makes you imagine. Makes you more. Makes you want. Makes you you and I I. You would rather read the book then wake for a coastline sunrise or attend an afternoon tea.

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I am lonely I am lonely I am. I would not be human if I did not state this…
if I did not embrace this.

But I still “am.”

I will never stop sailing in the open sea.
Though that is what has crippled me.

Today is a day of extremes it seems. Emotions heightened, depression deepened, and friendships questioned.

To all,
Happy Valentine’s Day. Live deep within your soul. And live deep in another.