Stereotypes hold some truth in them. That is why I like them. They are signifiers that express a small portion of the signified. Below are some moments I have had in England and my travels. I hope you laugh because most of these moments have brought much laughter, but also, interesting dialogue.
1. The theme song for the film Team America is sung regularly with all my international friends.
2. Every event here in England somehow includes the pubs. You go to the pub after class, sports events, meetings, and mass. Even AA goes to the pub after their meetings.
3. It is embarrassing to tell a practicing French catholic that your church back home uses grape juice for the “blood of Christ.” Not only do they believe in the transformation of the wine used in communion, but they also come from a culture that does not like to eat dinner without it. Wine is very important in that culture in multiple ways and so I feel stupid when I try to explain why we Puritans do not use wine and there is not reason.
4. Tea in the morning.
5. Tea in the afternoon.
6. Tea after a solid night out. I love teatime.
7. England is the most watched country in the world. There are more surveillance cameras in just London than any other country in the world.
8. They are sweets. Not candy.
9. Paris is truly an amazing city.
10. Why doesn’t every city have double-decker buses? It’s really pretty smart. Twice the space, half the length.
11. Penguin mild chocolate biscuits are little pieces of pure joy.
12. Every girl from Essex wants to attend the party in your pants.
13. England does not have cell phones. They have mobile phones used for ringing people.
14. The other night I told three girls (who are my age) the purpose and uses of a douche bag.
15. I am constantly reminding the English of the special letter we sent them in 1776. And then I tell them we’ll bomb them if they make fun of me.
16. The French are always on strike or about to go on strike.
17. A very small percentage of convicted felons are sentenced to life in prison in England.
18. I have fulfilled a Frenchman’s dream by saying Budweiser in an American accent.
19. The English hate their country.
20. The world that I have encountered really does like President Obama.
21. Peanut butter and hummus is very American.
22. Nobles still exist. And they own castles!
23. Nothing is too crude, mean and/or sarcastic to the French.
24. French girls are modest and classy. English girls are not.
25. The BBC is partially owned by the British government.
26. I feel ignorant and close-minded because I do not know at least two different languages.
27. Guinness is truly different and better in Ireland.
28. Switzerland does not have a national language but has four different regions that have their own language.
29. The French know how to do dinner. The traditional dinner can last up to four hours and with 6 courses.
30. Some people call me America.
31. The English do not like Newcastle. The town, the drink, and the accent.
32. They say aluminum differently here.
33. Everyone already assumes I am ignorant and uneducated. They also assume I have terrible geography. All of this because of my citizenship. They are mostly right.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
ahhh..Jeffrey I love this. This is why I love getting out of the country. It shows how much we are alike as humans but on the other hand it shows how different. A constant back and forth...
ReplyDeleteAnd while I have not been to England (I don't count the airport) I had a small taste of all things British in Kenya and loved tea time every day.