33 random bits from conversations.

Stereotypes hold some truth in them. That is why I like them. They are signifiers that express a small portion of the signified. Below are some moments I have had in England and my travels. I hope you laugh because most of these moments have brought much laughter, but also, interesting dialogue.

1. The theme song for the film Team America is sung regularly with all my international friends.

2. Every event here in England somehow includes the pubs. You go to the pub after class, sports events, meetings, and mass. Even AA goes to the pub after their meetings.

3. It is embarrassing to tell a practicing French catholic that your church back home uses grape juice for the “blood of Christ.” Not only do they believe in the transformation of the wine used in communion, but they also come from a culture that does not like to eat dinner without it. Wine is very important in that culture in multiple ways and so I feel stupid when I try to explain why we Puritans do not use wine and there is not reason.

4. Tea in the morning.

5. Tea in the afternoon.

6. Tea after a solid night out. I love teatime.

7. England is the most watched country in the world. There are more surveillance cameras in just London than any other country in the world.

8. They are sweets. Not candy.

9. Paris is truly an amazing city.

10. Why doesn’t every city have double-decker buses? It’s really pretty smart. Twice the space, half the length.

11. Penguin mild chocolate biscuits are little pieces of pure joy.

12. Every girl from Essex wants to attend the party in your pants.

13. England does not have cell phones. They have mobile phones used for ringing people.

14. The other night I told three girls (who are my age) the purpose and uses of a douche bag.

15. I am constantly reminding the English of the special letter we sent them in 1776. And then I tell them we’ll bomb them if they make fun of me.

16. The French are always on strike or about to go on strike.

17. A very small percentage of convicted felons are sentenced to life in prison in England.

18. I have fulfilled a Frenchman’s dream by saying Budweiser in an American accent.

19. The English hate their country.

20. The world that I have encountered really does like President Obama.

21. Peanut butter and hummus is very American.

22. Nobles still exist. And they own castles!

23. Nothing is too crude, mean and/or sarcastic to the French.

24. French girls are modest and classy. English girls are not.

25. The BBC is partially owned by the British government.

26. I feel ignorant and close-minded because I do not know at least two different languages.

27. Guinness is truly different and better in Ireland.

28. Switzerland does not have a national language but has four different regions that have their own language.

29. The French know how to do dinner. The traditional dinner can last up to four hours and with 6 courses.

30. Some people call me America.

31. The English do not like Newcastle. The town, the drink, and the accent.

32. They say aluminum differently here.

33. Everyone already assumes I am ignorant and uneducated. They also assume I have terrible geography. All of this because of my citizenship. They are mostly right.

The morning sun slowly rises

The morning sun slowly brings a dim color to the sky above the gray, glacier void that hides the ground from me. As the sun’s gradually turns night to day, it brings a transforming light and color to the clouds. The glacier like land below my airplane becomes no more than an angelically sown blanket of white clouds. I thought that this was an appropriate way to begin my new day away. I leave as a new day comes to be. Moments before my plane took off from Indianapolis International Airport en route to London Heathrow; the beginning my adventure across the Atlantic Ocean. I am traveling to England to study English Literature and Culture for an entire academic year. To say the least, I feel prepared. That is about all I could say. I am prepared for whatever may happen as I journey through Europe and study at the University of Kent in Canterbury, England.

This blog will hopefully be an avenue where I can creatively communicate what is happening in my life, and journalistic-ally communicate what is taking place on this side of the world. Most importantly (I have mentioned this in my previous post), I want this blog to become a mapping of my thoughts in language form to display the remarkable knowledge languages and words hold though the power of metaphor. In my next post I will gloss a few terms to construct a common foundation of language. I believe that the terms fiction, metaphor, narrative, language and system must be defined for clarity. But first, I must address all who I love.

My dear, dear companions,

Thank you for loving me well. I am missing you all dearly. At times I question whether or not this trip will be worth it. Honestly, it has been already. I am already meeting some wonderful people from France, England, and Switzerland. But I still miss you all and what I would be experiencing with you. Soon we will celebrate together not only my return, but also how we all have changed for the better. But it is early and I will need your support, your companionship. Please think of me often. When you read a compelling book, eat at Bazbeaux, dance, take shots, eat Pizza Express, cook a community meal, check things off your list, drink dark beers, speak philosophically, care for people, play Ultimate Frisbee, work hard, laugh hard, and have a bonfire, please think of me. This may seem narcissistic, and maybe it is, but I want to communicate how much I will be thinking of you all as I experience life far from you.

To those who believe in the power of prayer, you are allowed to pray for me (of course) and I would appreciate it. I think this is an obvious statement. However, I want to ask that you pray with the same candid, unconventional, courageous fervor felt in this old Franciscan Benediction:

May God bless you with discomfort

At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships

So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger

At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,

So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears

To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,

So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and

To turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness

To believe that you can make a difference in the world.

So that you can do what others claim cannot be done

To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

I would be very encouraged if individuals prayed for me with such grip and vision. However, more importantly, what I would like to receive more than a traditional prayer (words to any great deity) is your words, thoughts and breath be put onto paper. I love receiving mail and I plan on corresponding more through letters this year than ever before. So please send me a letter! Side note: apparently the British Post Office might go on strike at any moment, and the mail is already backlogged here. Soooo please be patient with the system. My address is

Jeffrey Mayes

08/A Clowes Court Parkwood,

University of Kent

Canterbury, Kent,

United Kingdom, CT2 7SX.

I am looking forward to reading your letters, corresponding through facebook, email, and skype. I may be distant at times. I think we all understand the good in living in the community directly around us. However, that also makes the world a smaller place. Live well. Become everything that you want to become. May our mind, soul, and body be united in the simple joys of life. I will embrace you all soon. Time is only relative. I’ll will be home in 282 days.

Strength and honor.

Most Sincerely,

Jeffrey